Welcome to the last Joy Tip Wednesday of 2015. What an amazing year it has been for so many people I know including myself. I left my full time government gig to follow my heart and put two feet into coaching and teaching. I created new lifelong friendships and reignited old connections. I dove into the world of dating again for the first time in decades. I experienced excitement and heartbreak. I faced some of the deepest, shadowiest, corners of my soul. I uncovered light and joy in unexpected places. And most of all I was reminded of the miracles possible in life when we show up for them.
As I move into 2016 there is one thing fresh on my mind...commitment. It's one of the top themes in my own life and the lives of people close to me. I think many of us believe we are very good at it. But I've come to learn that most of us aren't. Like not even close. Most of us struggle with commitment these days. Because it feels frightening. Vulnerable. Raw. It asks us to follow through even when the going gets tough. Commitment asks us to live from our Highest Selves no. matter. what.
Flaking. Ghosting. Wishy Washy. Indecisive. Uncertain. Confused. Researching one more piece of information. Changing our minds. These all seem to be normal habits that many of us in this 21st Century have adopted. Myself included. And lately I've been reflecting on how it came to be that being noncommittal became so normal. Everyday.
What happens when we don't make or keep a commitment? One word...sabotage. We sabotage what we care about. We self sabotage our growth. We sabotage our relationships. We sabotage our work. We sabotage our dreams. We undo everything we've worked for.
2016 feels like the year of commitment for me. It's something I've been relearning to practice again in 2015 after a bout of telling myself why "staying open" was serving me better. How "staying open" was practicing receptivity in the moment to take what life brings me. Uhhhh no. Staying open in a way where I can't stay committed to things I care about, where I don't move past my fears to put two feet in, closes me off to any opportunity to move forward. And no matter how nice I try to paint the picture, I know the truth is that the longer I resist putting two feet in, the longer I must wait for the change I desire.
So here's the deal. This year I'm committed to commitment. I'm committed to ensuring when I say "yes" I do my darnedest to keep my "yes." I'm committed to putting two feet into relationships and friendships. I'm committed to standing in my love for coaching and teaching like never before. I'm committed to seeing my fear when it pops up to try to stop me from following through on my commitments and walking past it anyways. I'm committed to practice dedication, clarity, certainty, and follow through.
What would be possible if you finally put two feet into the waters you are most scared to tread? What would be possible if you finally made a commitment to yourself and kept it?
For this week's practice I want to ask you to do this:
- Identify something that you've been wishy washy, flaky, indecisive, uncertain, all of those things. You know the one that you are really good at practicing non commitment with? Yeah...that one!
- Decide to stop playing the staying open, noncommittal card. Just decide damn it. Determine you are willing to try something different once and for all.
- Commit to putting two feet in and what that would look like. Be clear about what practicing two feet in would look like. Hint: it looks absolutely like the opposite of what you do and the actions you take when you are wishy washy.
- Take one action during the first week of 2016 to follow through on your commitment. Think small baby steps. Something that will manifest this commitment in a way that feels doable.
- Take another step to follow through on your commitment during the second week of 2016. Oh, you thought I was done with one step? Yeah no. We are taking another.
- Keep walking damn it! Mm hmm. Yep. No room for flakiness here ok? Keep putting one foot in front of the other and finally step into your powerful self! Because guess what...I have no doubt you can do it!
- Enroll help. Get people to support you in your commitment. Announce it to the world. To friends or family. Ask them to hold you accountable. Or my favorite accountability mechanism that I have myself and serve as for others...hire a coach!
- Pat yourself on the back. Acknowledge the results of your commitment to walking forward regardless of your fear. This will give you juice to keep going.
- Repeat, repeat, repeat.
I'm getting tingles up my spine just thinking about the potential behind all of us really taking on this practice in 2016. Guess what?! I have two other awesome ways to help you follow through on commitments that I'm offering in 2016 that are completely free because I am committed to commitment in 2016 and helping others practice the same!
FIRST, starting Jan. 1st, (THIS FRIDAY!) I'm leading a free #15daysofjoy challenge where for the first 15 days of January you'll receive practices to cultivate more joy in the New Year straight in your inbox and an online Facebook group to plug into for encouragement and support. It's free, it's fun. And last year...it absolutely inspired me and more than 100 people!
SECOND, I am so super psyched about helping people practice commitment to themselves in 2016 that I'm offering you a FREE 60 minute coaching session with me to try out coaching and see what it's like to get support from a coach. Coaching changed my life. It has taught me how to commit to myself for the first time like never before. It brings clarity and conviction to manifest my dreams. It brings empowerment to my interactions with others, and has taught me how to love myself like never before. I'd absolutely love to show you why I love it so much. If you're interested, reach out to me to schedule your session by contacting me at firstname.lastname@example.org. This gift from me to you is a unique opportunity to show up for yourself like never before in 2016.
In the meantime, I'm excited for what lays ahead. For myself, for those close to me, for my coaching clients, for my students, for you! Each day is new and each moment is only available to us in the moment. What are you going to do with those special moments of your life? And what would be possible with them if you started with two feet in?
Happy New Year!