You know what I realized recently? Many of us perpetuate our worst dating behaviors, scaredy cat antics, and wishy washy tendencies with the Universe. Source. The Boss. The very Energy that is the epicenter of manifestation, creating our reality.
Impatient. Antsy mind changing. Mixed messages. Flip flopping behaviors. And yet somehow, with the most absurd and obscure things in life we have super human will power and patience. Like the other day while driving home from New York City. I convinced myself that I could definitely make it an extra 45 minutes which then became one hour and 15 minutes until I got home to go to the bathroom after drinking a huge hibiscus tea an hour before. While one part of me was sure I definitely wasn’t going to make it, another part of me knew there was no where to easily pull off and find a bathroom during the last stretch so I became determined to make it work. I believed without a doubt that I could do it. I’m not recommending you push the very limits of your bladder, but I know you’ve done that. Whether it was convincing your bladder to wait, or waiting an absurdly long time for your favorite pizza, sometimes we are able to pull out super human will power and patience for the smallest things. But when it comes to what we care about most, how often do we tap out and walk away just before the first act begins?
I recently experienced a pivot in my business (which I’m super excited about…more soon!) and it all started with a shift in my mindset and one magic word…trust. As I started focusing on raising my vibration (see last week’s joy tip for more on vibration), I was reminded that the other half of magic manifestation and miracles in our life is trust. Trusting that the Universe has got you and has received your requests. That the Universe recognizes your effort. Recognizes your desire. After all, where did those desires originate from in the first place? Ahem…the Universe.
So yeah. It has you figured out. But somehow we don’t trust. We don’t believe our message has been received. When we don’t believe the Universe is doing its job, we self-sabotage the very work we started.
Imagine if the Universe was like a big technology store like Best Buy. You walked into The Universe totally clear that you wanted the latest MacBook Air. As you’re walking around the displays you see four people in cue ahead of you waiting for a customer service rep. You only have one hour for your lunch break and check your watch. Yikes…do I have enough time? After some moments of debating you decide to wait it out. After 25 minutes a customer service rep asks you what you want and you tell them that a MacBook Air has your name written all over it. Great! They respond. After confirming some features for you like how much memory you need, they tell you, I’ll be back in a moment with your computer. For a moment you feel the ping of satisfaction. And then you check your watch…only 20 minutes left and ticking. Satisfaction starts to shift to worry as you start to get anxious. After ten minutes the clerk hasn’t returned and you get impatient. Knowing you need a computer asap, you rashly decide you can’t wait any more and just decide to settle on a computer sitting on the counter left behind. Oh hey, this computer is way cheaper and has great online reviews. You think to yourself. After all, all I need to use it for is word processing and internet for the most part. So there you go, on your merry way to the check out line and back in your office in time before your lunch break has ended. Score.
But you didn’t score. Because the computer you picked up is an ASUS and will certainly start giving you problems in a year’s time. It lacks the features that you’ll later need for an amazing Podcast you were inspired to create. And as you stepped out of the store that customer service rep came back with you nowhere in sight to report that not only did they have a MacBook Air, but they could give you a special discount today only!
In the moment that the Universe steps away to start conspiring for us, we get nervous. We get impatient and we sabotage success.
Because the evidence that something is happening is not glaring in our face yet, we walk away and give up our Mac for an ASUS (Note: don’t ever do that…metaphorically or otherwise). Imagine how confused we make the Universe? All revved with conviction and clarity, and then in the waiting, we become impatient, second guess, mistrust, and then choose the next best thing. And sometimes the word “best” isn’t even in the equation. Sometimes we simply choose something different. Anything.
I was watching a speech recently by Gabby Bernstein and something she said struck me. A young woman in the audience asked about what to do when you have two desires at the same time. Typical responses I’ve heard to this question from different teachers and spiritual self-helpers in the past include “which option gives you more joy? Lights you up most? Is most wholesome?” I loved Gabby’s non-conventional answer. She proceeded to tell this woman one desire you deeply desire, but you do not believe you deserve. The other option is your back up safe option that you keep around because you don’t believe you deserve the first desire. Hello mistrust.
That’s it! I thought. That’s why I haven’t been moving a decision forward. I was facing two paths to move forward in my business. After doing much analysis I convinced myself to take option 2. But when Gabby gave this dose of reality it was like the Universe was hitting me across the face. Lovingly of course. I wasn’t choosing option 2 because that’s what I wanted. I was choosing option 2 because it was my fail safe! Because I didn’t think that I deserved the growth and the potential and the adventure of option 1.
When we stop trusting the Universe…we stop trusting ourselves.
I was trying to bargain with the Universe and myself so that I wouldn’t step into option 1 until I had enough evidence that option 1 was a safe enough lily pad to step on. But the best lily pads I’ve stepped on in life have been ones that I jumped on regardless of whether I thought I’d fall in the water like a belly flop or not. I just knew I had to jump. I trusted. I trusted myself. I trusted the Universe and everything flowed.
What would shift if you decided to trust yourself and the Universe? Full stop? Because when we trust the Universe, we learn how to trust ourselves.
For this week’s Joy Tip Wednesday, I want to invite us to trust the Universe and ourselves, in service of going after what we really desire. Here’s how:
1. Choose something you desire that you’ve created more than one option for and feel stuck around. A decision, a path, a step, where you feel like you equally desire two things at the same time.
2. Ask yourself, do I believe I deserve this? Be honest with yourself. Don’t try to fool yourself and sell yourself the “of course I do” if you really don’t. You’ll know based on how it feels in your gut. If you convince yourself that you believe you deserve it, but feel icky inside…you don’t really believe that.
3. Ask yourself, is this a safe option? An easy option without fear? Or less fear? Hint…the option with the most fear energy around it is often what we desire most.
4. Commit to following your greatest desire and decide you deserve it.
5. Ask the Universe for it. I write my desires down and place them on my alter. Before placing them on my alter, I ask for my desires out loud. I have a conversation with the Universe at the end of my meditation and articulate this request after I’ve written it down. Another hint: writing things down helps you get clear on what you want.
6. Trust. Trust yourself that you deserve it because otherwise you wouldn’t be inspired to ask for it in the first place. Trust that the Universe is off working its magic to make it happen.
7. Keep trusting. When I find my mind getting into a myriad of stories about how things could go wrong, I don’t deserve or I’m not worthy story lines, or any other low vibration shenanigans these days I stop myself and say two simple words: “I trust.” And magically, I shift and let go of the scardy cat antics my mind was scheming. Hint: this is the magic of letting go.
8. Enjoy your miracles.
Think back to a moment in your life when you really got what you wanted. Did it come in the time you wanted? Probably not. Did it come in the way you expected it to? Probably not. My experience is that the Universe often sends things either much faster or slower to me than I expected. And how it shows up may be slightly differently, but is always way better that what I had conjured in my limited mind.
Now you may be wondering, what do desires have to do with a spiritual practice? A lot. Each of us are instruments of good on this planet. I trust if you are reading this, that you have some pretty amazing, makes life better for yourself and others, desires. Those kind of desires are worth going for. Desires of the heart.