I made a surprising discovery in my 20s. While I thought I had followed my inner voice...I hadn’t.

On the surface I had a lot of success. I accomplished my goal of working in the federal government. I owned a cute brick townhouse at the end of a sleepy cul de sac. I had close circles of friends that I spent hours laughing with. But something deep inside of me ached. And the feeling haunted me.

Unconsciously I did what so many of us do. I pursued the goals socialized into me and took them as my own. I abandoned my soul’s desires and essence to “fit in.”

Intuition speaks in long sentences.

Sending messages to us in bits and pieces that span over the course of a day, a week, a year, or even years.

Have you ever recognized in hindsight how all the pieces of one area of your life fit together? Suddenly the wider perspective and clarity you wanted is obvious. But you couldn't see it before in the messy middle.

Even though I know this, I still sometimes try to push for clarity. Wishing I can nudge my intuition onto the timeline in my head versus the pacing of my soul.

When I fall into this trap, I suffer. Like a person trying to draw a map in the densest fog. I struggle to chart my next steps when I can’t even see my hand through the mist. Eventually I must slow down to surrender.

Humanity is dealing with a lot right now *gestures wildly to all the things.* And I’m feeling worn out from the pandemic.

I sensed burnout in myself earlier this summer and started slowing down. I gave myself more rest and turned my focus towards nurturing my creativity. These shifts nurtured me, but I needed more.

I wanted to feel the inherent goodness in life. Not to cover up the challenges, but to balance out the challenging feelings I hold.