Why do we shoo away our blessings the minute they show up at our doorstep?
With an interesting few weeks including the loss of my uncle and the unearthing of sexual assault memories for myself and others, life has been delivering me a lot of blessings amidst the darkness. One being a new romantic relationship that I’m cherishing. This totally unexpected blessing overwhelmed me this weekend and resulted in a very joyful cry.
What’s interesting is my initial impulse to hide my blessings. To shoo them away in a sense. To downplay them. It’s that protection mechanism inside of me that is scared to lose what I’ve received. That is worried I’ll make others feel bad if I celebrate too much because of what they don’t have. This is a sure way to suck the joy out of everything that is right in service of everything that is wrong.
It’s a new relationship, fresh out of the starting gate and this time I’m doing things differently. Fear is not allowed at it’s doorstep. And as a result, instead of holding back my feeling I’m letting feeling run full force through me. Instead of editing what I want to say about how I feel, how I feel comes gushing out of my soul whenever I feel it. Unedited. Instead of waiting a “certain period of time” to introduce him to my friends and loved ones, I’m sharing him with everyone I care about now. Instead of waiting for certain time marks along the way to match certain relationship milestones, I’m following intuitively which milestones to step on when I feel them regardless of timelines. With everything feeling so right, my mind has found itself in foreign territory. It tells me to downplay this amazing blessing in service of protecting me for “when the rug gets pulled out from under me.” “Don’t celebrate this too much because it might not last a month,” it says. “Don’t share him with those you love because it might be over tomorrow.” Well...it might be, or it might not be. It might last a lifetime, if I let it.
When we don’t celebrate the blessings in our life we steal the joy we are right to claim.
Let’s go there. Worst case scenario. What if a relationship, a job, a friendship, a business, doesn’t last forever? What if it ends in one week? In one day? Does it make it any less of a blessing right here, right now? Of course not. And what if instead of believing it will end and holding back on its enjoyment now, we choose to fully enjoy our blessings now knowing it’s possible that they could last a lifetime. That it’s possible that we could be in the awesome job we love throughout the end of our life. It’s possible we are building the dream business we always wanted that carries us to retirement. It’s possible we do have a friend that is there by our bedside the day we leave this plain of existence. Anything is possible...if we open ourselves to it.
Nothing in life is certain. But I am sure that we can strangle, kill, close off the blessings we are receiving if we don’t celebrate them now. Regardless of how long they are meant to stick around. Afterall, as cliche as it sounds, the only moment we have is now. When we try to shoo away, downplay, hide from our blessings we basically tell the Universe “no thanks.” When I say “no thanks” to the Universe it’s just like any person giving gifts and having them returned over and over again. Eventually the friend stops trying to bring you gifts because you won’t receive the ones you are brought in the first place! If however, we choose to celebrate the blessings we have fully now, we send the message “thank you” to the Universe.
When we say “thank you” to the Universe, we open ourselves to receive more blessings.
I no longer believe humility is downplaying my blessings. I now understand one of the most profound acts of humility is to sincerely say “thank you” for my blessings and to celebrate them. To dance for joy, to shout from the rooftops, to share them with others and hold nothing back. Nothing. Because in a moment of “thank you” I understand that blessings are gifted in grace. Not demanded. Not certain. Not required. Blessings are an act of grace by the Universe to give purely because we are Loved. When I celebrate my blessings I feel inspired by the selfless spontaneous gift giving of the Universe to give generously myself to others. To people I consider blessings in my life. To projects I consider blessings. And everyone and everything in between.
This celebration has freed me from fear. When fear isn’t given space on the stage of my life I don’t worry if a blessing has an expiration date. I don’t waste energy holding back my joy for fear that others will feel bad about my outpouring of joy. I don’t think I’ll send some bad juju over to my jackpot. I no longer need to put a fortress of protection around all that is most precious. Because its fragility only lies in my unintentional pushing it away when I close off by worrying, thinking about bad juju, fearing other’s reactions. I cut myself off from the very heart nourishment I was delivered. And when you don’t eat the nourishment you are given you starve, you cannot thrive, and you slowly whittle away.
For this week’s Joy Tip Wednesday, I want to invite us to celebrate our blessings.
To shout “thank you” from the rooftops of our lives to the sky of the Universe. To dance in the streets of our mind. Here’s how:
Acknowledge your blessings. Set a timer for 5 minutes and collect the good stuff. The mundane, the unusual, and the unlikely. Write them all down on paper.
Ask yourself, which blessings have been I been shy about celebrating? Which blessing have I held back the dance party on?
Make a commitment to celebrate your blessing and do it! Pick one blessing to give all your lovin to. Celebrate it by telling your best friend. Writing a Facebook or Instagram update. Saying a prayer in the morning. Creating a playlist precisely to dance just about that one blessing. And then dance it out!
Notice how you feel. Celebrating our blessings just feels good! Why wouldn’t we want to feel good?! So savor that awesome good feeling because you’re meant to live it.
Feeling motivated and jazzed? Choose another blessing to celebrate and repeat the process.
I’d recommend doing this consistently for one week straight. Celebrate your blessings in big and small ways. Through gushy love letters for the blessing of your partner. To the quiet one minute eyes closed intimate moment with the Universe where a silent “thank you” rings in your mind. I guarantee you will feel amazing and best of all, find yourself attracting even more blessings into your life which happen to be rushing in all the time when we pay attention to them! But we have to be receptive, open, and ready to receive. And when the blessings show up, we have to be ready to dance the dance of “thank you.” So put on your dancing shoes and celebrate darling because the Universe is waiting for your smiles, laughter, tears, and joy.
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