Many years ago I had a drive to go into a field of work that saved people. I envisioned myself working as an FBI Agent or for the CIA. While it may sound silly, or even strange to those of you who know me, I was absolutely as serious as serious can get.
In college I took sociology classes focused on criminology, I read biographies of former FBI agents, I looked at law school applications early in my undergraduate program knowing many FBI Agents completed law school before joining the Bureau. I trained in martial arts to improve my physical strength.
I always have felt a very primal need to protect. People I love, strangers who appear to be vulnerable, animals uncared for. Something extremely strong kicks in that’s often hard to fight or deny. I remember in high school one lunch table I often sat at was a table full of boys. I had a lot of male friends given that I was in the drum line and had a boyfriend at the time. One day during lunch, one of the boys at my lunch table decided to pick on some of the “nerdy” kids. They cornered them against a wall and started throwing food at them, other boys joined in the pummel. Despite the fact that these people were my friends, something inside of me ignited that I couldn’t stop. I stood up and ran over to where they were and I started screaming at the top of my lungs. “Stop it!” “What are you doing?!” My screams felt like roars, they stopped stunned, looking back at me and the boys they were picking on ran away. I immediately ran after the boys that had been picked on, starting to cry, and apologizing to them for what had happened. I asked them if they were ok and if they needed anything. Clearly embarrassed yet relieved that I had stopped the process, they meekly looked at me as if to say thank you and walked away. As they walked away I found myself shaking from the adrenaline pumping through my veins and surprised by the force that moved through my body and my lungs.
Fast forward to this year. Something happened when the clock turned to 2017. I began dreaming. I’ve always been a dreamer, but this was different. I was dreaming, every single night. Every moment I dozed off. These dreams were special. They were immensely vivid, real, colorful, physical, smells even at times. They were full body experiences that had me each morning having to mentally walk myself through where I was and who I was. These dreams have continued for nine months now.
Throughout my life, I’ve known that my dreams are not random and this is absolutely the case in 2017. But one set of dreams had me concerned. It was a dream over and over again of me in hostage and crisis situations. In each dream I was strategizing ways to get out. I was using some of my clairvoyant gifts to find escape routes. Often I was helping others along the way. These continued for months...non-stop. My initial impulse was to look at the dreams on the surface. My mind must be telling me I’m feeling trapped in something. This is the obvious psychological explanation. This didn’t ring true for me no matter how much journaling and exploration I did. Then one morning I talked it through with my partner and he suggested perhaps it was connected with Lymes and my Lymes treatment. My frustration with the overwhelming information that I’ve been flooded with and diverse opinions about how to treat the illness. This seemed like it might be true. I expected the hostage and crisis dreams would subside. After all, that’s what happens for me when I’ve “heard” the message I’m meant to hear from dreams along a theme. They end. But in this case, they continued.
Night after night, I found myself in hostage situation after hostage situation, attackers coming into public spaces and me trying to usher people out, coming to target people at restaurants and their homes. The dreams always went the same way, they started with me in precarious situations and followed me through my exhausted attempts to escape and save others. I never saw what happened in the end and always woke up in the middle of the escaping process. Then I had a breakthrough. I reached out to two of my mentors baffled. What on earth am I missing in my psyche? What is the Universe trying to tell me through these disturbing dreams? Their answer, not knowing the other’s response was unanimous….past lives.
“I do feel your rescuee/rescuer identity has integrated many lifetimes and your becoming aware of it vividly in this one. Pray to know what role you are here to manifest, so that you may dedicate only to that,” it's one of my mentors.
The moment she said this to me it was as if time stopped. It all...every last drop of it...made sense. You see for years I did everything “right” to end up working in law enforcement or in the intelligence world and yet the Universe blocked me time and time again. It instead led me to working in international development, to deeply embarking on a spiritual path, and then pulled me to be a spiritual teacher, coach, and healer. This isn't the path I planned for. It's the path that choose me. The Universe blocked me all of those years because it was inviting me into my new role in this lifetime. I knew it was time to let go of the rescuee/rescuer role.
Looking out the window, up to the heavens, I said a prayer. I asked to step into the role I’m meant to play in this lifetime and to leave the rescuee/rescuer identity behind. And you know what happened? The hostage and crisis dreams...stopped.
Welcome to the root chakra. A primal energy center that both connects us to Mother Earth and holds the foundations of our being. Our early childhood experiences, our family members unresolved traumas, our ancestral experiences, and yes...our past lives.
Imprinted at the base of our spine, these fuel often irrational moments throughout our life that feel instinctual. Like the moment where I yelled at the boys in the lunchroom. Or the time that I spent hours every single weekend marching up and down the hallways of my apartment building trying to find the door of the apartment where I heard a woman being verbally and physically abused by her boyfriend. I heard the echoes in the courtyard, but never could locate the apartment. These foundations run deep and they remain unconscious, playing on autopilot if we don’t take time to examine them. Passing on family traumas, unresolved conflicting beliefs, and unresolved past life experiences into the next generation and our next lifetime.
Why should you care about these energies embedded in your system? Because they fundamentally can make or break your happiness.
If you are fully integrated, you can feel a sense of safety in your own being and those of others. You have a strong sense of who you are and the beliefs that you choose to form the backbone of your system regardless of what's happening around you. You release irrational fears that you cannot find a root for (likely passed down from your family, ancestors, or past lifetimes), and become more conscious of the micro moments in life (where joy hides). After all, millions of small moments make up a single life and make it worth living.
In essence the root chakra invites us to:
Examine our beliefs and release those that are not our own.
Become aware of the primal fears that block us from living from our Highest Self.
Have courage to dive into early childhood memories that may be guiding our subconscious behavior.
Talk to family members and relatives to bring family traumas to light and give them permission to release.
Develop beliefs that form the foundation of our being and align with our own expansive truth in this lifetime.
Ground our energy down to Mother Earth on a regular basis by spending more time in the body.
Observe how our primal needs of security and safety block us from more conscious ways of being.
Acknowledge that we are a being made up of lifetimes, our own and others.
For this week’s Joy Tip Wednesday I’m inviting us to become familiar with the wellspring of our root chakra. Here’s how:
Examine your beliefs and what you know to be true. Take out a notebook and write the first 10 beliefs that you believe to be true down on paper. Take a 1 minute break to tune into your breathe then write 10 more. Take a break and tune into your breath again, then write 10 more. Walk away from your list.
Revisit your list of beliefs. After a few hours or days, come back to your list. Read each belief out loud and ask yourself “Is this my voice?” In other words, is this belief mine? Or when you read the belief out loud do you hear your mother’s voice, your father’s voice, your best friend, your aunt, your teacher? If it’s not your own, put a star next to it and keep moving through the list.
Choose what you want to believe. I know you may be thinking, yeah right, we can’t just with the snap of our fingers choose, but...you can. Beliefs are a choice to take something as truth. This can be changed at any time. The shift may not be easy, but with practice what is new becomes like an old rocking chair in your soul. Go through your list of beliefs and stars and ask yourself, what do I want to belief to be true about life? About money? About relationships? About myself? If a belief with a star next to it feels good, aligned, expansive, supportive...keep it. If not, don’t include it on your new list. Add any new beliefs you want to be true. For example, when I did my own examination I noticed that my beliefs around money were very fear driven. I decided to shift my relationship with money to become a friendly, supportive relationship. I decided to see that money was abundant, available, and to have gratitude every time it showed up in my bank account.
Spend more time inhibiting your body. One of the greatest practices we can take on is profoundly simply and profoundly challenging. Most of our days are spent inside of our heads. However, intuition, wholeness, deep secrets about your inner nature, are found through the body. So just notice when you are in your head and in that moment decide to tune into how you’re breathing. Feel your toes wiggling in your shoes. Touch your belly with your hands and rub it lovingly. Rub your hands together. Massage your feet. Bring yourself more into the ground of your actual experience.
Write down your dreams. If you're a dreamer, know that they are not by accident. Start a dream journal and just notice what is showing up in your dreams. This energy of curiosity will start to open you to insights. Notice if there are any patterns, repetition, themes that continue to play out. These may be a secret message of insight for you just like the hostage and crisis dreams of my own.
Receive your awakening through this work and know that this is just the beginning. The root chakra is a treasure trove of wisdom waiting for you to uncover and understand deeply why you feel so compelled to do and think what you do. If you’re ready to dive more into your root chakra and the mysteries it holds, reach out to me and we’ll schedule a 30 minute free consultation by clicking HERE. If we both agree we’re a strong match, we’ll plan some empowering 1:1 work together to journey into the root of your being and unearth the freedom you were born for.
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