Joy Tip Wednesday: Find Your Love

Earlier this week I wrote about my love affair with Joy.  How every cell in my body is dedicated to Her.  To this North Star of sorts guiding my way back Home when I've lost myself in the thick of life.  She guided me when I was young and as an adult I came to loose my connection with her.  Recent years have been focused on reconnecting with Joy once again.  When I finally reconnected, my life felt alive like never before.

This week's Joy Tip Wednesday is about exploring your own love story.  The secret lies in two things in your life:  your childlike self and what you care about.  To get started, if you're still feeling puzzled about your One True Love this week, I invite you to start with the child of yourself years left behind. Ask yourself, what was I like as a child?  What did I care about?  What dazzled me?  What was my essence?  

My parents tell this famous story about me when I was a kid.  They said I always woke up happy.  Joyfully excited to see a new day.  Always.  And if I didn't, it was a sign that I was getting sick.  I'd famously wake up early as a small child in my crib, stand up, and then start joyfully yelling through the house "I waked up!"  "Hey!  I waked up!"  Until basically someone came into my room to join the day with me.  Every time they tell me this story it makes me inevitably laugh and feel immense love for that child inside of me.  I laugh and I feel love because I know that is the truest part of myself.  The one that is bright eyed, excited for another day, ready to connect with others, and ready to chase the Joy.  It's in the cells of my being.  

As a kid I was endlessly fascinated by life.  I spent countless hours playing in nature by myself.  Sitting in a tree.  And I loved, loved, loved to write.  I wrote a series of stories about the "wilderness girl."  A girl that lived in the wild with no one else.  That connected with nature, animals, and lived her own wild and free life.  She was adventurous.  Strong willed.  Resilient.  Endlessly curious. And deeply reflective.  I had no idea at the time, but now I can see that the wild and free character was in fact a reflection of myself.  How funny to see how well I knew myself when I was a kid and how little I knew myself later as an adult.  

Underneath the child that was excited to wake up and the wilderness girl was this immense Joy for life.  An adventurous search under every corner to experience Joy.  This was my North Star then, and it became my North Star once again now.  When I lost myself as an adult, my child self reminded me of who I am.

Let's say you are still feeling a bit fuzzy about your One True Love or perhaps you're looking for more clues.  I'd ask you this, what do you care about now as an adult?  What do you care about with every fiber of your being?  You can make this curiosity located in a big net like your set of values or a small net like an activity you care about and enjoy doing.  Or a person.  Ask yourself, what is my One True Love underneath what I care about?  I find that curious awareness in and of itself is what starts to open the doors for clarity.  So ask the question and see what comes back.  If nothing comes back, just ask again in the near future and patiently wait with a sense of openness.  The answer, when it is meant for you, will find it's way to you.

Then my favorite part of this challenge, how could you connect more with your One True Love?  Could you take that North Star and infuse it in other things?  Choose one situation where you can't seem to find your One True Love and ask yourself where is the (fill in the blank with your One True Love) in this situation?  Again, often just asking the question starts to shift things.  Just asking the question perhaps helps me to find what I couldn't otherwise see.  Then, sit back and see what happens.  Play with this as an experiment, a game, and just be curious rather than a goal that must be achieved.  The playful curious spirit will serve your more than a goal oriented task master energy.

If you'd like some support in continuing to infuse your One True Love in your life and are curious about the "how to," join me for my Choose Joy Program starting next week.  This eight week program is designed to give you both individual support from me as your coach, group support through a community, and the practical know how through tools and practices.  I still have a few spots and I'd love for you to join me.  You can register online here:

In the meantime, have fun exploring your One True Love.  I'd love to hear how your experimentation goes.  Write comments below or e-mail me.  Until then, have fun writing your own love story.  Because there is so much love to go around and so many moments where we it.  

Much Love,