There's seeing truth and then there's standing in truth. How often have you finally seen the truth in a situation, but then nothing changed? For some reason, even though you have new information, your habits, your thoughts, your behaviors, repeat the same patterns over and over again despite having clarity that Reality is different than you thought. Why? Because it's safe. It's familiar. And dare I say, because we don't want to own the new information. We don't want to take responsibility. We don't want to stand in the Truth.
This occurred to me recently when I noticed that I kept getting stuck time and time again in the same place. I wasn't moving some key tasks forward in my business and it was driving me crazy. When I sat down with myself to look at the situation, time and time again my mind told me that I was missing a piece of the puzzle. I needed one more piece of information. Now first off, this should have been a "red flag" of sorts for me because one of my "go to" safe habits is to always seek more information. Does researchers anonymous exist? If not, I'd be it's star founding member. When I get scared, uncomfortable, sometimes my survival mechanism is to endlessly research more information. Somehow I missed this flag this time. And then one day I saw it...procrastination. Same action, different implication.
Now, sometimes seeing that you are procrastinating is enough to kick your butt into gear. This was not the case this time for me. My mind did this jedi mind trick where it combined the procrastination with the puzzle piece and then wham. I have the perfect story of paralyzation. The unsolvable problem. The unmovable task. By this time I was starting to get tired of hearing myself talk about the same problem. I was tired of sitting with it in meditation. I was tired of writing reflections about it in my journal. I was tired of sending love letters to the Universe asking for answers. You name it, I tried it. As I sat there telling my sad frustrated story to my coach one day it became clear to me that my mind had spun a really awesome story and I was still avoiding the Truth. Yes I was procrastinating. I was being lazy in fact. I was being down right stubborn. There it was. The full Truth starring back at me. The question was, now what was I going to do with it?
Truth be told, I had walked around this realization many times throughout the weeks leading up to this moment, but I didn't want to stand in the Truth. I didn't want to own it. I didn't want to take responsibility because it felt safe in my procrastination corner. It felt familiar even though it felt downright horrible.
Here's the thing. Playing it safe doesn't have to feel good. Often it feels wretched. But it pales in a fearful mind in comparison to the perceived pain of other options. So we keep hanging out in safe land.
So now what? Fearing responsibility, standing in the safe corner, what did I do with my stubborn, procrastinating self? I mustered some courage to own it. To stand in the Truth. This meant that any time I found myself stuck again, I told myself "Marci...you're being stubborn and lazy again." Ouch. Tough love right?
Sometimes we need some tough love in the present to stand up in life. To follow through on what we care about most. To manifest what we declare.
What happened when I "had a moment" with myself? I knew I had to do something...anything...on my to do list. Each time, one word flashed through my mind "stubborn" and I'd go to my to do list and do something. Anything. And the wheels of momentum started moving and as I took responsibility and created something different.
Often when we are scared, our mind tells us we will loose our sense of power, control, stature, anything if we go out on a limb and do what we are scared of. That's the magic trap of fear. It trickily sells us the safe story as the "empowerment story" when in reality, it's the opposite. We take back our power the moment we own Truth. We stand in it. We take responsibility.
When we stand in truth, we can be, think, do differently.
You know what was the result of my procrastination turned standing in Truth story? The Courage Package I've been carefully designing was finally born. My dedication to focusing even more time on empowering clients to over come fears is possible. And most of all, I am able to live an even more fearless life by modeling this courage in one more area of my life, despite the cozy safe corner my mind wants me to sit in.
Ready to start standing in Truth in your life? For this week's Joy Tip Wednesday I'm inviting you to take responsibility and stand in Truth regardless of your fear.
- Find the Truth you are avoiding. You know what I'm talking about. We all have it. Clarity we have and then pretend we don't see. Maybe it's an unhelpful habit like my procrastination story that keeps repeating. Maybe it's the fact that you know you should share how you feel about someone close to you in your life. Maybe it's asking for a raise as you take on a new role. Not sure what that is? Spend some time journaling, drawing, painting, in nature, reflecting alone or with friends. Whatever is ripe for your picking, you'll discover it. Find it, see it, call it out.
- Take responsibility. Own your part. What have you done or not done to contribute to the current situation? What have you said and not said? What have you thought and not thought? Listen, this isn't a judgemental blaming game. It's just an opportunity to REALLY see the Truth and step into it so you can free yourself from fear and create the change.
- Decide a course of action. Hint...try something different. Choose a different story to tell yourself. Choose a different way of showing up. Choose a different action. I started taking my shower earlier than normal, getting out of the apartment, and listening to my "dance party Spotify playlist" to start stirring up different energy than how I normally spent my mornings to kick procrastination and fear to the curb.
- Do the power dance. Seriously, celebrating your wins, acknowledging the shifts, is important stuff. Dance literally or figuratively in the very fact that you practiced standing in Truth.
- Repeat. Unless you have a one action deal like a conversation you are avoiding, repeat the same follow through on choosing a different course of action and keep practice standing in Truth over and over again. Those grooves of fear that you've been etching in your brain are deep if this is a pattern you've been repeating for a while. Time to practice etching a new groove in your brain. And it will take just that...practice. If your action is a one time deal, repeat the process by finding another truth you're avoiding and revel in that courage you're creating baby :)
Listen, your mind is going to give you endless excuses why you can't do something different. Trust me. Mine does. Why wouldn't it when it's made a deal with fear? Just try something different. It may be scary. It may be uncomfortable. But aren't you getting tired of the same old story? The same old habits? Of seeing the situation clearly and then pretending you don't? Yep. I thought so. Get on standing courageous soul.